WORDS THAT WORK · BRAD INDUSTRIES

How to tell someone you’re overwhelmed

Overwhelm is hard to explain from inside it, because words are often the first thing to go. These lines are ready before you need them.

Why it’s hard to say

When there’s too much at once, finding words feels like one more job. So people go quiet, or they snap at someone who asked a simple question. Having the words ready ahead of time means all you have to do is copy them.

Four things to include

That it’s overwhelm. Name it. “I’m overwhelmed” is clearer than “I’m fine” or silence.
That it isn’t about them. If that’s true, say so. Their Brad will assume otherwise.
What would help. Quiet, one less thing, someone to make the phone call for you. Or “nothing, I just needed you to know.”
When you’ll check back in. Even “I’ll text you tonight” gives the other person something to hold on to.

Copy and paste

For a partner

I’m overwhelmed and my brain is full. It isn’t you. Could you handle dinner tonight so I can sit somewhere quiet for an hour?

Too much today. I’m not upset with you, I just can’t take in anything else right now. Can we talk after I’ve had a shower?

I’m at my limit. A hug and no questions would be perfect.

For a friend

I’m so overloaded this week. I still want to hear everything, just not until Saturday. Is that okay?

I’m stressed and behind on everything. If I’m slow to reply, that’s why. It isn’t you.

For family

I love you, and I can’t take on one more thing this week. Can we figure out the holiday plans next week instead?

At work

I want to do this well, and right now I can’t add more without something slipping. Can we look at what comes first?

I’m at capacity this week. Could this wait until Monday, or is there someone else who can take it?

Short, by text

Overwhelmed. Not mad. Texting you tonight.

What Brad would send instead (don’t)

“I’m fine.” Brad has a whole page on how well this one works. It doesn’t.
Snapping at the next person who asks a question. Brad calls this an early warning system. Everyone else calls it being snapped at.
A full list of everything that’s wrong, sent at once. People can only help with one thing at a time. Brad has never accepted this.

If they try to fix all of it

People who love you often jump straight to solutions. If you just need them to know, say so: “I don’t need it fixed. I just needed you to know.” That one sentence saves a lot of advice.

If overwhelm ever turns into feeling like you can’t go on, please reach a real person now. In the US, call or text 988 any time. In danger right now, call 911.

nap time

Send it as a Brad Get a pep talk first

Send a Brad delivers “Overstimulated. I’ll text back when the room stops being loud.” with a crew member who waves when they open it.