WORDS THAT WORK · BRAD INDUSTRIES

What to text after a fight

The fight is over. The quiet isn’t. Brad has drafted forty first texts and deleted every one. These are better, and they’re ready to copy.

Why the first text feels impossible

After a fight, both of you are still a little on guard, so every word gets read twice. The first text has one job: let them know the door’s still open. Fixing the actual problem can wait until you’re both calmer.

What a good first text does

Reaches first. It doesn’t wait to find out who was more wrong.
Owns your part. One specific thing you’d do differently, with no “but” after it.
Says the bond is still there. “We’re okay.” “You matter more to me than being right.” Only if it’s true.
Offers a next step. Talk tonight, or a hug when you get home.

Copy and paste

Ready to make up

I hate when we fight. I’m not going anywhere. Can we talk tonight when we’re both calmer?

I’m sorry for how I said it. I still want to talk about it, just better than that.

Still us? I love you, even when I’m mad.

When you need more time first

I’m still upset and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. I need until tomorrow morning. We’re okay.

Not ready to talk yet, but I’m not leaving this. Can we try again after dinner?

When you were the one who got it wrong

I was wrong about what I said. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry, and I’d like to make it right.

I’ve been thinking about it, and I see why that hurt. I’m sorry. What would help?

For a friend or family

I didn’t like how we left things. You matter more to me than being right. Coffee this week?

Hey. I’m sorry about earlier. Still friends?

Short, by text

I’m sorry. I love you. Talk tonight?

What Brad would send instead (don’t)

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” Brad tried this once. It was received as a second fight.
A full timeline of the argument, with sources. Brad is very proud of his timelines. Nobody has ever wanted one.
“K.” Brad has a whole page on what this one does to people.
Nothing, until they text first. Two people waiting for the other to blink is how a Tuesday fight becomes a Friday fight.

If they don’t answer right away

Quiet after an apology usually means someone is calming down. It’s rarely a verdict. Give it a few hours. One gentle follow-up is fine: “No rush. I’m here when you’re ready.” Then put the phone somewhere you can’t see it.

If fights include threats, grabbing or shoving, or you’re afraid to go home, a better text won’t fix that, and it isn’t yours to fix. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. In danger right now, call 911.

make up?

Send it as a Brad Get a pep talk first

Send a Brad delivers an apology with a crew member who waves when they open it. The inner child adds her own line in crayon, like “still us?” or “make up?”