BRAD TRANSLATOR · ON FILE

What does “I’m fine” really mean?

They said they’re fine. You’re not sure you believe it.

What it most likely means

Sometimes fine, sometimes tired, sometimes not ready to talk. All three are allowed. The kind move is to let them know you're around, without pushing.

What six different Brads heard

Everyone has a Brad: the anxious little security guard in your head. Six of them read “I'm fine.” and every one of them is sure. None of them have evidence.

  • The Archivist · Division of EvidenceBrad has compared it to every 'I'm fine' on record. This one is four percent flatter. He has a chart.
  • The Proofreader · Division of Outgoing MessagesThey're not fine and they won't tell us, because we'd answer it wrong.
  • The Volume Officer · Division of DimmingThey're not fine and we're too much to tell.
  • The Fire Marshal · Division of Exits'I'm fine' is a door closing very quietly.
  • Customer Service · Division of Keeping Everyone HappyThey're not fine. Brad is fixing them before they finish the sentence.
  • The Forecaster · Division of Worst-Case Weather'I'm fine.' State of emergency declared.

Calm replies you can send

Okay. I'm here if that changes.

Glad to hear it. Want company anyway?

were here

Translate a different textFind out which Brad you have

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Texts Brad has on file

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